The wife cannot understand why a husband has not asked for sex in some time. The wife feels pressured to give husband sex every time he asks. Either husband or wife or both struggle to put their sexual past behind them. Husband and/or wife use the Bible to strengthen their hardened position or struggle with a great disconnect between their sexual passions and their faith. Does any of this reflect what is happening in your marriage? what’s a healthful sexual relationship for a Christian, anyway? In case the gospel does not have an answer for sex, then how can it be good for much else? Sex and human sexuality are a big part of our human experience.
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The simply say no message most Christians have heard about sex outside of marriage contrasts sharply with the twenty-first century sexualized culture all of us get bombarded with every day. Healthy human sexuality is more about giving than it’s about getting. Even though both usually move toward meeting each other’s needs, neither feels forced to have sex that would make them feel resentful toward the other. Not in the sense of sometimes on\/sometimes off, but in the sense of different seasons of life and of marriage carry different implications for intimacy. Not every sexual encounter will lead to the same level of excitement or satisfaction.
The most crucial aspects of sex will vary during different seasons of marriage. Rather than being Just sex, that kind of intimacy between husband and wife really is a huge deal. Sex might vary from frequently to occasional, from thrilling to comfortable, from gratifying to frustrating, based on physical health, life stress or other factors. In a healthful relationship, husband and wife are committed to coming together physically and reconnect in this way frequently and freely, but not legalistically. Husband and wife look only to one another for the fulfillment of their sexual desires and needs. Sexual intimacy with any other person is of course outside the bounds of healthful human sexuality, but so is pornography, emotional intimacy and the like.
Sex or withholding of sex isn’t used to punish, control or wound. Every marriage is the union of two people imperfect, and so is their sexual relationship. As with every other facet of marriage, you’ll almost definitely hurt your spouse and be hurt by them. A healthful sexual relationship provides for sincere forgiveness and continual improvement.